Every parent can attest to the fact that their job is very difficult. Besides trying to be a good spouse, the pressure to connect with the children can be hard to overcome. It’s not easy and at first, the children can be rude to you. There are many children who assume that you’re trying to assume the role of their mother or father. However, if you want your new family to work, here are some amazing ways to connect with your stepchildren.
Show Genuine Interest In Their Hobbies
Depending on the age of your step-children, they might be interested in different things. Younger children might love playing with their toys, while older teenagers might enjoy several hobbies such as writing, reading comics or playing different games. Therefore, if you want to earn your place as a step-parent, show some genuine interest in their hobbies. Whatever you do, don’t fake it because the children will single you out and show more dislike or hatred. As such, you should look for ways to become interested in everything they like because you will have something common to share.
Customized Bonding For Each Stepchild
Most stepparents usually approach the whole family as a unit and assume all the children will love him/her equally. However, if you want to make your mark as a stepparent, you should schedule one-on-one bonding sessions for each stepchild. Generally, each child will have something different and unique from the other. Therefore, take time to bond with each child differently. However, while doing so, avoid dedicating all your time to one child and ignoring the other. This might result in one of the stepchildren cultivating negative feelings towards you.
Ask The Children About Your Spouse
Getting married into a family with children is difficult. It might seem completely new but there is one thing you share with your stepchildren, and that’s your spouse. Whether you’re the stepdad or stepmom, the children have spent more time with your partner than you have. Definitely, they will have more to say about him/her which will give you more insight into how the family operates. If the children are not open about their hobbies or interests, you can try breaking the ice by talking about your spouse. Ask them about funny things that have happened in the past and eventually, you will both share something which will contribute immensely to your relationship.
Talk To Them About Your Talents
Definitely, there is something unique and interesting about you that you would love to share with your step-children. On that note, you should try sharing and talking to them about it. If you play an instrument or love watching movies, share this with your step children. Soon enough they will be in awe and gain more interest in you. However, make sure it’s not disgusting or repelling. It should be something that they would respect you for doing, otherwise everything will become a complete disaster.
Your stepchildren might not appreciate you right now but they will definitely do it in the future. Don’t assume the role of the parent who is not currently there because they will hate you for it. On that note, take baby steps in developing a relationship with your step children and enjoy a strong relationship later on. Give them time and they will come around. Try staying out of their way as much as possible and let them come to you when they have issue.
If you’re feeling lonely as a stepparent, use these tips to learn how to connect with your stepchildren for the best results.