When everyone was younger, it was a bit easier to keep in touch. Now that grandparents are getting older and so are the kids, the times spent together are few and far between. Here are some suggestions for grandparenting long-distance style.

Don’t resign yourself to being out of your grandchildren’s lives because they don’t live close anymore. Travel and age may restrict you to once or twice a year, but the rest of the time doesn’t have to sit idle. Here are some suggestions for staying connected even when you are not there in person.

* Make a phone call – If it’s one thing that kids like it is to talk on the telephone. Invest in a family plan that allows you to call them often but for less money. When they are little, allow them to call you once a week. You may even take the initiative and give them a call. Ask about their day and what is going on in their lives. Don’t forget to make birthday and holiday calls.

* Use video calls – Skype is a popular way to make video calls free of charge. All you need is a webcam on your computer and speakers if you don’t have ones built in. You can call them just to see their faces. Over the course of a year, a lot can change. If they need help with something, video calls allow you to demonstrate instead of just telling them over the regular landline. The entire family can spend time together on a video call.

* Send snail mail – Everyone likes to get mail, especially when they are away from home. When grandkids go to college, use that time to send mail and bond anew with them. Send birthday cards, care packages, special treats and simply a line or two to your grandchildren to let them know you care. Everyone can work on their writing skills and letters are the way to do it.

* Use social networking – Set up a family Facebook page. Here you can post pictures to share and also drop a quick line about what is going on in your life. You can even learn how to instant message with your grandkids. This is a great way to let family know about important developments like a hospitalization or a new baby being born. It is fast, free and easy.

* Play games – This is another advantage of Facebook. Stay close by playing online games with your grandkids. Facebook offers dozens of games that you can play to share special moments.

Are you looking for a way to stay connected with your family, especially your grandchildren? Try using the suggestions above. Don’t shy away from technology. It will become your best friend.

Original post can be found here: Long-Distance Grandparents: How to Stay Connected with Your Grandkids

The teenage life is hard. Kids are going through a lot of emotional and physical changes. They need the stability of family to help them stay anchored. This includes grandparents.

When kids are small, grandparents are like the best people ever. While parents have to be the disciplinarians, grandparents can be the ones who enjoy having fun with their grandchildren. It is fun to sit and talk or play games for hours on end at grandma’s house.

What happens when kids get older, especially the teenage years? It can put a strain on the grandchild/grandparent relationship. Teens are growing up. They are caught in the space between childhood and adulthood. Spending time with others their own age might be preferable since they at least understand them.

But, as family members and grandparents, you don’t have to become obsolete. You are still a vital part of their lives. You just have to adjust your position to one that is favorable to your grandchild.

Here are some ideas for bonding with your teenage grandchild.

* Watch a movie – On a Saturday evening or a Sunday afternoon when the family is together, get a movie and watch it with them. Let your teenage grandchild choose the movie. It may not be something that you would usually watch but then it can give you an idea of what your grandchild is into right now. Who knows – it may even lead to a lively discussion.

* Reminisce over old photo albums – Many teens wonder where their childhood went. You can show them with old family albums. Go through old times with pictures from when they were young and when you were young. It could spark questions about how you handled the teen years. At the very least, you get to share a precious afternoon with them.

* Volunteer – You might want to think twice about this one but then again, you may be up to it. When your teen hits the ripe old age of fifteen, they will have one thing on their minds – driving. You could be their driving instructor if your heart can take it. This is a great time to spend teaching them something that you know. Mom and dad will be glad that you did.

* Invite them on vacation – It can be fun having your grandchildren at your place or visiting somewhere different. Offer them the chance to bring a friend along if they wish. Be sure that it is okay with their friend’s parents.

* Share a hobby – Maybe your grandchild liked to go fishing when they were younger. Just because they are older doesn’t mean they don’t still like it. Ask them to bring a friend along who might also be interested in it. You can bond over a worm and a fish hook.

Just because your teen grandchild is growing up doesn’t mean you are being put out to pasture. There are still good times to be had with them if you know how.

Original post can be found here: How to Bond with Your Teenage Grandchildren

When you find love, it can be a glorious experience that brings feelings of ecstasy beyond your wildest imagination. Sadly, not all relationships remain that vibrant and healthy. While no relationship is perfect, some relationships deteriorate to the point of becoming toxic to the life and health of one or both of the people in that relationship.

If your partner is aggressive or hostile toward you on a regular basis, this can be a decimating experience. You may even feel trapped inside that relationship, unsure of how to get out or even whether you should.

If you’re trapped in an unhealthy relationship, know that there are ways you can help yourself.

Consider these steps to save your life and protect yourself from such a relationship:

1. Know that they likely won’t change. One of the common phrases you hear from people in unhealthy relationships is that it’s not as bad as it seems. Unfortunately, this is often a smokescreen to hide a sad reality from the outside world.

* If you’re holding on to the hope that things will change, you must know that this may not be the case. While some people do find the fortitude to turn their lives around, a person who is abusing you will likely continue to do so. Take the necessary steps to protect your safety, and then focus on getting help to heal the abusive relationship.

2. Avoid the blame game. An abusive significant other may make you feel like you deserve the treatment you get. They can even go so far as to say that it’s your fault that they abuse you. The truth is that you’re a valuable person that deserves to be treated with respect. No one deserves abuse, and this includes you.

3. Use confidence as your greatest weapon. An abusive spouse may try to make you feel inferior and weak. Instead, choose to consider yourself as valuable. Your feelings and thoughts really do matter! You deserve love, respect, and the room to grow and explore the things you’re passionate about.

* Your partnership should be one that considers the needs of both of you as decisions are being made. You deserve the dignity and empowerment to be who you are without fear. Remind yourself of that fact as often as you can, because your confidence will be your most potent ally in the relationship challenges you face.

4. Remember that not all abuse is physical. Some relationships do, sadly, degrade to the point of physical abuse. However, that’s not the only form of mistreatment. Some abuse can be psychological or emotional. While the signs of emotional or psychological abuse aren’t as obvious, this abuse can also be very damaging.

5. Seek wise counsel. If you’re a religious person, seek the advice of your pastor or spiritual leader. If not, confide in a trusted friend that you believe will provide wise advice from an unbiased perspective. Get help from a professional counselor who can guide your individual journey to health and healing.

* A friend or trusted advisor can often see things that you and your partner are blinded to, because intimate relationships are filled with emotions that cloud your view.

* It’s more helpful to seek the advice of someone who’s unbiased, rather than someone who simply jumps to your side and defends you no matter what. Although such a friend can give you much-needed support, their advice is also biased.

You deserve to experience a life where your individuality is celebrated. You’re valuable for who you are, and you can overcome an unhealthy relationship. Seek wise counsel and, above all, protect yourself and know that you can still live an abundant and fulfilling life.

Original post can be found here: How to Survive an Unhealthy Relationship

At some point or another, you’re likely to experience trust issues in your relationship. Whether it’s brought about by infidelity, a decrease in your own self esteem, your partner’s newly hired young assistant, or a simple change in your partner’s behavior, your relationship can weather this storm and rise above feelings of uncertainty.

Follow these tips to solve the trust issues you face so you can experience the thriving relationship you deserve:

1. Work on your self-esteem. Many trust issues in relationships that were once thriving stem from personal insecurities. If you’ve experienced significant changes in your appearance or noticed a drop in your self-esteem, it’s important to build up your body image and self worth in order to rebuild the trust in your relationship.

* It’s common to become suspicious of the company that your significant other is keeping when your self-esteem plummets. The way you perceive yourself may be the only thing in your relationship that has changed.

2. Reflect on your past. Did something happen in your childhood that has caused you to become wary of trusting your heart to anyone? Did your parents choose to divorce when you were young? Were you sexually abused in the past?

* These things and more can be responsible for your inability to trust others. When you’ve endured emotional trauma, especially during your youth, its effects can last decades. Speak to a therapist to help you find the root of the issue and learn how to work past the event.

3. Talk about any indiscretions. If there has been infidelity within your relationship, it’s vital to hash out all hurt feelings and future expectations.

* If you’ve cheated, it’s normal for your partner to act clingy for a while. They’ll want to know where you are, what you’re doing, and what time you’ll be home. They’ll ask if you’ll be alone with anyone. Answer their questions truthfully and understand that they are hurting.

4. Recommit yourself to one another. Sometimes a relationship needs a sign of recommitment and devotion. Do something special together that signifies that your love can and will overcome anything.

* If you’re married, renew your vows to make it known that your love is abundant and can rise over any obstacles that life may throw your way.

* If you’re dating, go away on a relaxing day trip together and write a letter to each other exclaiming your love and devotion.

5. Spend more time together. Both you and your partner are constantly changing internally and your needs and wants are also subject to change. Ensure that you’re truly there alongside your partner to witness and be a part of those changes by devoting more time to one another.

Trust is about more than believing that your partner will remain faithful. It’s about trusting that your partner will always be there for you in times of need, while also being a prominent part of the most important events in your life. Work on your trust as romantic partners – and as best friends – to truly guarantee a fruitful union.

Original post can be found here: How to Solve Trust Issues in a Relationship

If you’ve been through a divorce, you may feel emotionally damaged and vulnerable. That’s understandable and perfectly normal, but you don’t have to remain that way. If you were abused, you may be better off on your own. Even if you wanted to stay together, you now have a unique opportunity to change your life for the better.

While your past is out of your control, you can control what happens in your future. Make a conscious effort to let go of the thoughts of blame and guilt. Instead, focus on the life you want to create for yourself moving forward.

Emotions Can Be Overwhelming

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed for a while. This is especially true if you have children or if you now need to get a job after staying home. Take deep breaths and try to relax. You can come out of this healthier emotionally than you were before, as long as you stay positive.

There are many things you’ll need to consider. Some of the decisions you make in the heat of the moment can come back to haunt you later. Rather than let that happen, consider:

1. Sleeping on any big decision, instead of making it right away.

2. Asking friends and family for support to help you get through a tough time.

3. Focusing on what you still have, like your children or your job.

4. Selling the house and moving if there are too many memories attached.

5. Relocating to be closer to family and friends who can help you make it through to better times.

You can also join support groups to meet others who are experiencing similar circumstances. Just be aware that rebound relationships often happen this way and many of these can be unhealthy. Strive to get through the grieving process before getting involved with anyone else.

Divorce Can Be a New Beginning

While it’s true that divorce is the end of a relationship as you knew it, it can also be the start of a new, positive direction. Many experiences await you. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones and remind yourself that you’ll certainly be happy again. Choose to think productively about your situation by learning from it and quickly heading in the direction of positive change.

Focus on what matters most to you: your family, friends, children, job, hobby, or anything that means a great deal to you. When you spend time focused on others, or on something that you value, you have far less time to feel bad about other areas of your life. You have much to look forward to in this new beginning.

As you focus your thoughts in a direction that supports your emotional health, you’ll feel better and be more interested in life. You’ll also be able to see how far you’ve come, which will make you emotionally stronger. Your divorce can lead you to other opportunities, if you choose to steer your thoughts in a positive direction. If you do, you just might experience the happiness you deserve.

Original post can be found here: Five Tips for a Healthier Emotional Future After Divorce

You may have heard about the ‘perfect marriage’ but experts will tell you it simply doesn’t exist. At some point in your marriage, there will likely be problems. It’s inevitable. When problems come you may be scrambling for tips to restore harmony in your marriage. Try some of these and see if they help.

It’s not unusual for couples to have problems after they’ve been married for a while. Once they’re spending the majority of their time with their spouse, they may learn that they don’t have as much in common as they thought. They may also become resentful because they’re not able to spend time with friends like they did before marriage.

Marriages go through cycles. When you’re first married and in the honeymoon stage, things are perfect until reality sets in. There are work schedules to deal with, then come children, buying a home, or other things which can be stressful.

You may have disagreements about anything and everything which could lead you to wonder why you got married. Words may be exchanged which are hurtful and make you feel unloved. If this is what you’re going through right now, don’t despair. You can restore harmony in your marriage if that’s what you truly want.

* Think back to before you got married. What attracted you to your partner in the first place? Think about the things you did, the places you went and how you felt. There must be something of those feelings left even if you have to dig around to bring them back to the surface. Be sure you let your partner know you’re still interested in them even if things may seem tense between you.

* Ask someone to take care of the children and go out, just the two of you. Grandpa and Grandma or an aunt or uncle would probably be glad for some extra time with the kiddos, so you may even be able to get childcare for free. If possible, plan to go out a minimum of once a month. Once every two weeks would be even better and every week would be optimum.

* Instead of half-heartedly listening to your partner, truly pay attention to what they have to say. They may be trying to tell you about something that’s important to them. Marriage experts say for a marriage to thrive respect and love must be nurtured. If you can both remember these basic needs, and work toward them, harmony is a possibility.

* Men may want to think about the things they did when you were dating. Repeat some of those things and you both may find your old feelings, as well as a renewed sense of commitment, come flooding back.

Perfect marriages don’t exist no matter how much everyone would like to think they do. That doesn’t mean you can’t have the best marriage possible. Use some of these tips to restore harmony to your marriage. If they don’t work, don’t forget to seek professional help as it may really help.

Original post can be found here: Tips to Restore Harmony in Your Marriage

You hear about couples that have been married for 60 years and wonder how they managed to stay together so long. After the newlywed stage wanes, you and your partner may have fallen into a rut. You think the romance is gone, but there are easy ways to rekindle romance in a relationship if you’re willing to work at it. So, how about it? Are you ready?

Some people wait until Valentine’s Day, an anniversary, or birthday to tell their partner “I love you.” If you wait too long, though, your partner may begin to wonder if it’s true. Rather than waiting for a holiday, try some of these ways to rekindle romance at any time of the year.

* Make your relationship a priority. Let your partner, family including your children, and friends know your marriage is your top priority. Then start treating it that way.

* Don’t take your relationship with your partner for granted. Despite the fact you have a strong love for one another and a history together, your relationship will still take work.

* Spend more time touching one another. Hold hands if you’re walking through a store, while talking and waiting for dinner to arrive, or for no reason at all. Touching is one way to let your partner know you love them.

* Talk about things you did while dating. If you have children, they may enjoy hearing some of the stories as long as you don’t get too mushy. Reminisce about how you met and first fell in love. The old feelings may come flooding back.

* Let your children see you kiss, hug, or display affection with one another. They may say ‘yuck’ but they really do need to see your love for each other.

* Couples who have children may have difficulty rekindling romance because they rarely have time alone. This, too, can be remedied. Ask a friend or family member to watch the children for you so you can either go out on a ‘date’ or share a romantic dinner at home. Keeping them overnight would be even better. If you’re staying home, prepare the meal together, set a romantic candlelit table, and play your special song or music which has meaning for you.

* While on your ‘date,’ promise not to discuss the children. Instead, talk about things you always dreamed of doing together and begin making tentative plans. Perhaps you’ve wanted to go to a foreign country. You can start gathering travel brochures and find out how much your dream travels will cost, and then begin saving toward that dream.

* Be spontaneous. If you can get a sitter for the weekend, drop the children off, and then kidnap your partner at the end of the day. Find a nice bed and breakfast or hotel room and enjoy your time together, just the two of you.

These easy ways to rekindle romance in a relationship can be undertaken at any time of the year. Or you can use your imagination and come up with your own ideas. Once you’ve decided you want to rekindle the romance, do your best to accomplish this goal and keep your relationship alive and healthy.

Original post can be found here: Easy Ways to Rekindle Romance in a Relationship

You’ve probably heard the old song “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.” Not only does your heart take a beating but so can your self-esteem. Here are some practical ways of rebuilding your self-esteem after a break-up.

Self-esteem is how you think of yourself with respect to those people around you. If you think well about yourself, you can do anything you put your mind to. However, if you have no self-esteem, you’ll be lucky if you can accomplish anything. After a break-up you want to rebuild your self-esteem as quickly as possible.

Any break-up can wreck havoc on how you feel about yourself. It doesn’t matter whether you were the one who broke things off or if the other person did – the pain and sense of defeat can be mind-numbing. But you can’t dwell on what’s happened if you want to move forward.

The end of a relationship is similar to experiencing a death because, ultimately, it is. You have to go through similar stages as with a physical death if you hope to be whole again. First you must deal with the shock, mourn the loss, work through any guilt you may feel, get angry either about what did or didn’t happen during the relationship, reconcile yourself to the fact it’s over, and then accept the loss so you can move forward.

Rather than dwelling on the past – what could have been or how you’ve been hurt – determine in your mind that you will learn from the experience. It’s possible both of you made mistakes during the relationship; you don’t have to repeat those mistakes if you choose not to. Instead make a point to learn what went wrong so you can avoid similar issues in future relationships.

Don’t make life-altering decisions such as buying a house, a new vehicle, or starting a business. It’s likely you’re not at a good point and a failure this soon after a break-up could be catastrophic. If you feel you need something to make you feel good about yourself, try losing weight, changing your hair color or taking up a hobby you always wanted to try.

Even though you may not feel like being social, it’s good to get out of the house. Don’t feel pressured into going on dates this soon. You could gather some friends who are single and enjoy their company. Surround yourself with friends who are upbeat and their spark will rub off on you.

Now is the perfect time to dust off old dreams. Take time to re-think about things you once thought were important that you’ve put on hold. Do you still want to learn to water color? Why not take an art class at a local university? Did you put off learning a new language because you knew you’d never travel? Learn that language and then find out how much it would cost to travel to that foreign country.

Keep a journal so you can express your feelings. Maybe you don’t want to discuss your break-up with anyone, but it is not a good idea to keep your emotions pent up. Writing them down gives you an outlet for expression and lets you see things in black and white.

You can use these ideas for rebuilding your self-esteem after a break-up rather than letting your self-esteem take a beating. It won’t be easy to become social again but it’s vitally important not to lock yourself at home. You can move on if you set your mind to it, with your self-esteem intact.

Original post can be found here: Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem after a Break-Up

It’s been a while since your relationship ended, but are you ready to start dating again? Friends and family are telling you about someone they know but you’re hesitant to meet them. Knowing when you’re ready to begin dating after a break-up isn’t always easy. Here are some signs you may be ready.

1. You’ve taken ample time to grieve the loss of your past relationship. This means you’ve worked through the emotional aspects of the loss as well as understanding that putting yourself into circulation is opening yourself up to be hurt again.

2. You’re no longer in contact with your ex unless you share children. There’s no wishful thinking that the relationship can still work, and you’re ready to move on.

3. You’ve looked at the circumstances of your break-up, realize you both made mistakes, and own responsibility for yours. Since you know what you did wrong, you’re able to avoid those mistakes in any future relationships.

4. You’re not looking for a rebound relationship or someone to replace your old partner. You’ve given being on your own some serious thought but aren’t ready to get tied down to one person again very soon.

5. Even though you’re lonely without a partner, you’re comfortable being on your own again. You’ve learned about new strengths, developed new habits, and are growing as a person. You like who you’ve become and don’t “need” a relationship to make you whole.

6. If you haven’t dated in quite a while, you’ve learned about what’s now considered appropriate or not. You’ve heard about speed dating, online dating, and other forms enough to know what to expect. You also remember what old-fashioned dating was like and think you can go through with it.

7. You have a support group whom you can call on to go out on a group date to meet new people rather than jumping right into the one-on-one dating scene again with both feet and eyes closed. Having people you trust around you when you first start dating again can be a great comfort and a way to avoid bad situations.

8. You’re comfortable with getting to know several people at a time instead of going right for the “relationship” again. It’s alright to play the field for a while when you first start dating again. There’s no hurry to rush into another long-term relationship.

Going through a break-up isn’t fun for anyone but it does happen, unfortunately. Knowing if you are ready to start dating again isn’t always an easy thing to determine. You can use some of the ideas above; ultimately you’ll know deep in your heart that you’ve moved on and are willing to take another chance. Sure, you may be hurt again, but in the game of love, that’s one of the chances you take.

Original post can be found here: Are You Ready to Start Dating Again?

Infidelity has been in the news lately. Well-known athletes, Hollywood stars, and politicians have been making public apologies for their ‘indiscretions.’ Many people in similar situations are willing to forgive, but what are the steps to mend a relationship after infidelity?

There’s a lot to be said for people who choose to work through the pain caused by infidelity. They may have an inner strength which allows them forgive and forget the past while having courage enough to face what the future holds. Rather than dwell on being hurt, they remember what they love about the person and decide they’d prefer not live without them.

Before you can mend a relationship after infidelity, it’s important to know why a partner was unfaithful. This means you’ll need to talk openly and honestly with one another. If you don’t think you can do this on your own, you may want to seek out a marriage counselor.

What can marriage counseling do for you? To begin with they’re able to hear both sides of the story without being emotionally involved. If you need a non-partial mediator they’re more than able to help in that regard.

A marriage counselor can also pose questions or make observations neither of you may have considered. They are there to facilitate your conversation, to keep it civil when hurt feelings make themselves known, and bring you back to a point where you both can recognize your own responsibility for what’s happened. While the actual infidelity may have occurred with only one person, the other person may have withheld emotions or communication which made the unfaithful seek solace elsewhere.

It may be difficult to do, especially when the wounds are new, but it’s important to let the unfaithful partner know they’re forgiven. Don’t keep bringing up their unfaithfulness in the future when things aren’t going so well; in fact, it’s better not to bring the subject up again. If the instance is constantly dragged up whenever you have a disagreement, don’t be surprised if they don’t believe your sincerity about forgiving them.

Don’t be afraid to tell them how much you were hurt by their infidelity. Be open about your feelings but don’t accuse them. Rather than saying ‘you did this’ try to say ‘this is how I felt because of this.’ Try to keep your voice even and if they have something to say about the subject, truly listen to them.

Sometimes feelings are too raw and you find you can’t forgive; in this case it may be better to end the relationship. If you’re married, try to separate for a period of time first before forging ahead with a divorce. Allow yourself enough time to consider everything that’s happened and reassess your feelings. You may even want to try dating again and seeing if you can work your relationship out.

You may come to the conclusion that there’s no way you could trust them again. If this is the case, try to separate permanently in an amicable way. This is especially important if children are involved. Be sure to reassure the children that they are not the cause of the divorce, that you and your partner have differences that can’t be resolved, and that the other parent will still be a part of their life.

No one wants to experience unfaithfulness, but there are steps to mend a relationship after infidelity if that’s what you choose. Once you have made the choice to forgive and rebuild your relationship, good for you. If that’s not possible, try to let go with dignity.

Original post can be found here: Steps to Mend a Relationship after Infidelity