Do your teens whine about being bored? As a parent, that can certainly get on your nerves – you probably don’t remember the last time you were bored! But bored teens are more than an annoyance. Studies have shown that when young people don’t have anything to do, they are more likely to do something destructive, or a least not very constructive. So let’s look at some ideas for getting your teen out of the boredom blues.

1. Post a list

In a visible area (such as the ever-popular refrigerator), you could post a list of at least ten activities your teen likes to engage in. You can make this list together in a brainstorming session, or you can make the list yourself as you observe the things your teen likes to do. In fact, it may surprise your child to see the things he or she has been doing and enjoying all along, and it will help score points for you, the parent – you noticed something about them! Teens, who often complain about feeling misunderstood, may appreciate that.

You could also ask your teen to write such a list him/herself. Regardless of how you come up with the activities, it’s a helpful reference for when boredom strikes.

2. Learn something new

Interest in the world around you is a great cure for boredom. Teach your teens that there is never an excuse for boredom because the world is just that fascinating. This can be a really helpful life skill! There’s always something new to do or explore. Pay attention to your teen’s interests, and make suggestions along those lines. Challenge them without making it too hard – remember, you want to incite interest, not overwhelm them with a big project.

Maybe your teen is interested in the environment and green living – have him or her gather some friends for a clean-up day in your neighborhood, or come up with creative ways to save energy. If you have a science lover, think up some theories and questions that can be answered with an experiment. Is your teen artistic? There are all kinds of fascinating subjects out there just waiting to be studied in pencil, ink, paint, clay, or whatever medium your teen enjoys.

3. Have a boredom retreat

Sometimes, a new surrounding can really help get teens out of the boredom cycle. Is there a coffee shop, book store, or other nearby place where your teen could go hang out safely? It can really help to have a place to go to get away for a bit. If your teen is not old enough to go by him or herself, you could accompany your teen and stay in the background, or drop him or her off and go run an errand.

You could also have a boredom retreat in your own home. Even in a small home, you can make your teen’s bedroom into an area that is conducive to learning and exploration. Set things up so that your teen can dig into his or her interests in his or her own special place where the art supplies are always out, the electronic gizmos are ready, or the books and journals are always open.

Original post can be found here: Teens: How to Conquer Boredom

Every parent worries about the teenage years. One of the common worries of parents can be abusive relationships. This is a sensitive topic to approach with your teen, but well worth the effort.

Even if you don’t suspect that your teen is in such a relationship, it’s important to speak to them about the possibilities and what they can do if this scenario ever happens to them.

Here are a few tips to help make talking to your teen about abusive relationships a little easier:

#1 – Be open and honest. Children and teenagers in particular appreciate honesty. By nature children are honest and the more open and honest we are as parents, the more positive connections we’ll form with them. Sit down with your teen in a quiet spot at a convenient time and ask them about their thoughts on the subject. Your teen may very well surprise you with their maturity and serious response to the matter.

Let your child know that you care about them and want them to know how to get help if they or someone they know is ever faced with this situation. By approaching your teen in an honest and caring way, you let them know you are on their side – something teenagers often struggle with.

#2 – Get involved. As our children grow it gets more difficult to remain a part of their lives. By regularly getting involved and being part of your child’s life, it will be easier to pick up on signals of an abusive relationship. Speak to your teen’s teachers and stay on top of their school activities. Know your teen’s friends and their parents. The closer you are to their “inner circle” the better your chances of staying in contact and knowing when to step in as a parent.

Another good way to stay connected with your teens is to make your home the “safe haven” for them and their friends. This doesn’t mean that rules don’t apply or that you will be more of a friend rather than a parent. But by providing a non-judgemental place for your teen and their friends to hang out, you get an inner view into their life and know the people they spend possibly large portions of time with.

Setting fair but firm boundaries will let everyone know that rules do apply, but that they are welcomed in your house. By providing activities such as movie nights and lots of food as well as a little privacy for your teens and their friends, you provide a place they’ll want to come to.

#3 – Know when to take action. Abusive relationships are no laughing matter. A teen involved in this type of relationship is in real danger. If you do suspect that your teen or one of their friends is involved in such a relationship, it may be time to take action.

Speak to your child and their friends and other parents. Find out everything you can about the situation and act quickly. And although a teen in such a relationship may initially resist help or see the parent as the “bad” one, the main thing to focus on now is helping your teen remain safe.

If your teen has been involved in an abusive relationship, it may be wise to seek counselling. This is a trauma that may last with them for many years. By getting counselling early on you can start to help heal the wounds.

Original post can be found here: How to Talk to Your Teen about Abusive Relationships

How to Build Communication Bridges with Your Teen

Raising a child doesn’t come with a book of instructions.  If it did, the task would be much easier.  Facing the teenage years with your son or daughter is not something most parents look forward to.  This article will help you take the experience one day at a time and learn how to bridge the communication gap.

As your child goes from toddler to youngster to tween to teenager, something in what you say gets lost in translation.  They can give you that blank stare as if the words that are coming out of your mouth sound like the unseen teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons.

It’s not easy to improve the communication bridges with a teen but it’s important to try to get through as these years and the choices they make now will have a vital impact on their future.

Here are a few tips to help you get started:

1. Watch your body language.  How you move says a lot about you.  When a person is tired, they tend to slump.  When angered, your jaw muscles tighten and your eyes narrow into slits.  Believe it or not, teenagers are good at interpreting body language.  Yours will betray you when you are talking to them.  Keep it open and honest.  Avoid sitting with your arms crossed, eyes looking away from them or squirming in your seat.

2. Make eye contact.  When you don’t look at the person you are talking to it says that you are either hiding something or you are not at all interested in what they have to say.  Your teenager will shut down emotionally when they suspect that you are not “tuned in” to them.  Sit comfortably and give your teen undivided attention with consistent eye contact.  It lets them know that you care.

3. Keep your emotions in check.  Remember back to when you were a teenager.  Some of the things you said to your parents were aimed at freaking them out.  Teenagers will push your buttons if they can.  Don’t go overboard and get upset.  Their target is the situations they know make you mad.  Instead, take a deep breath and ignore the taunt.  Do the opposite of what they expect because really, they want you to see through their ploy and find out the real problem.

4. Ask them about their day.  This technique works with spouses also.  Even if your teen only grunts or says the obligatory, “It was okay,” ask anyway.  Your show of caring will go a long way to convince them that you are interested in the things that they do and how they feel.

5. Be honest with them.  If you don’t understand the situation they are talking about then say so.  Kids know when you are being insincere.  Discuss the situation until you get an idea of where they are coming from.  Your teen won’t mind explaining as long as they know you are listening.

6. Allow them their privacy.  This one is tricky and since you know your child better than anyone else, you can draw the line.  Teens value their time alone.  While the policy in your home may be that there are no locks on the doors, always show respect by knocking before entering.  If they don’t want to be pressed about a situation in school, wait until they are ready (if it’s not urgent) and then talk about it.

Parenting a teenager takes a tough skin, a willingness to be vulnerable and lots of love.  You will make mistakes but whatever you do, don’t ever stop talking.

Original post can be found here: How to Build Communication Bridges with Your Teen

With the increasing use of social networking sites such as Facebook amongst teens, it becomes important to safeguard your teens against others. Not only is your teen in danger of being convinced by a stranger to run away, but cyber bullying takes place online in these venues as well. To protect your teen from becoming a victim on Facebook, utilize the following tips:

* Teach your teen how to protect profile information. At this point in your teen’s life, the only people who should have any access to their profile are approved friends and family members. Facebook has many different options for protecting profile information.

Have your teen safeguard profile information such as location, school and availability and allow only known users to view the information.

* Do not allow your teen to post inappropriate pictures of themselves. Many teens like to take photos of each other and friends for fun and post the results on Facebook for all to see. Amongst friends, the practice is fine, but allowing the general population to view such photos will attract unwanted attention.

* Set limits for Facebook usage. A good idea is for teens to have their parents listed as a family member, if said parent uses Facebook. If you are not a user of Facebook, maintain an overview of your teen’s profile. Many teens will object to the invasion of privacy, but as long as you promise not to judge them or their friends, it should be easier to convince them.
Agree to lift the limits when your teen reaches a certain age. Also allow for the fact that teens will usually vent about parents and friends on Facebook as an outlet.

* Educate your teen in how to safeguard themselves and not to use posts that will allow someone to find them at a certain place or time. If your teen only has approved friends and family on their friends list, there is no harm in posting such information.

Be aware, however, that the appropriate security settings, namely privacy, must be activated in order to prevent unknown persons from being able to access your teen’s profile. Also be sure to educate your teen on the perils of meeting someone they do not know. While the news reports may be scary, share them with your children to instill a fear of what may happen if they ignore your warnings.

Keeping your teen’s safe is a major part of your responsibility as a parent. However, if your teen is an active social networking user on sites such as Facebook, it can be harder to protect them. Instead, teach your teen how to safeguard their information and only allow those who they know in person to view their profiles and become friends.

Set the appropriate privacy settings and also ask that your teen share their password if they are younger. Educating your teens on how to avoid becoming a victim is the most important step of all, as most teens are typically not aware of the consequences their actions may bring.

Original post can be found here: Keeping Your Teens Safe on Facebook

Teens begin dreaming about having their own car almost as soon as they become a teenager. And while your child may know how to drive after you taught them or they learned in driver’s education classes, you may be wondering if your teenager is responsible enough for a car. Here are some guidelines you may want to think about before deciding to let them have their own car.

Your teen probably thinks they need their own car, but they can still ride the bus to school like all the other students. They may be able to get rides from their friends who have cars or accept a ride from you when they need to go somewhere. The fact is, unless they have a totally different schedule that requires them to be places while the family car isn’t available, they don’t need their own car.

If you’ve ridden in the car with them while they drive, you’ll know whether they’re good drivers or not. Whether or not you think they’re a safe driver may be more important than whether or not they’re responsible. They may be very responsible but if they drive recklessly you obviously won’t want to put them behind the wheel of their own vehicle.

How responsible are they in other areas of their life? Can you trust them to do the things that are required of them and do so in a reasonable amount of time? Here are some questions to consider:

* Do they finish all schoolwork before doing things they want to do? Knowing that there are certain things they have to do before doing what they want, shows they are able to manage their time and that they know how to use that time wisely.

* How do they handle money when you give it to them? Do they spend everything right away on perceived ‘needs’ or do they spend it on what it was intended to be used for?

* Is your teen liable to keep you informed of what they’re doing, where they’re going, and who they are with, or do you often wonder where they are?

* Can you depend on them to help keep the house clean including their own room? Or does their room look like a disaster area?

* Do they have an after-school job? If so, do they arrive on time for their shift or are they constantly late?

* Are they willing to learn about the care and maintenance of cars? Knowing at least the basics will ensure they can fill their own gas tank, check the oil, washer fluid, and other fluids in the car. They also need to learn how to change a tire. If they’re not willing to learn the basics of car maintenance, maybe they’re not responsible enough for a car.

Your teen needs to understand how serious having a vehicle is. If you were to get them a car, you would not continue to pay all expenses. Talk about different costs associated with driving a car.

It’s expensive to have a teenager on your auto insurance policy. Make sure they know if they get a traffic ticket your insurance will likely increase. Let your teen know they would be responsible for paying the entire ticket and any difference in your insurance policy due to the ticket.

Teens don’t have to have their own car but they may want one. When trying to determine if your teen is responsible enough for a car, consider these points. Perhaps they’ll help you make that decision.

Original post can be found here: Is My Teenager Responsible Enough for a Car?

Ask any teenage boy and they’re likely to tell you how cool they think motorcycles are. They’re compact, get great fuel mileage, can go nearly anywhere, and get you there in a hurry. However, have they thought about motorcycle safety? Here’s what to consider if your teen wants a motorcycle.

How good of a driver are they? Motorcycles can be a great vehicle for the right person. However, motorcycles can also be dangerous. If your teen is just starting to drive or isn’t a very good driver, getting a motorcycle probably isn’t the best idea. Keeping them in a car until they’re more experienced or better at driving would be safer.

How responsible are they? Are they mature enough to understand how important it is to wear a helmet at all times or will they be more worried about how they look? If you don’t consider them responsible enough for a car, would they be any more responsible with a motorcycle? It’s not likely.

Will they help pay for it? Motorcycles may be less expensive than motorcycles but they’re still not cheap. Are you going to pay for the motorcycle, the insurance, and all upkeep for it or will they chip in? You may want to make part of the stipulation of getting a motorcycle that they help pay for it with their own money. This may mean they’ll need to use their allowance or money earned from an afternoon job to help pay for expenses.

Are they willing to take a normal driver’s education course regardless if they drive a car or a motorcycle? If they’re not willing to learn to drive properly, including knowing and abiding by the rules of the road for cars, they may not be ready for a motorcycle. Check to see if there are motorcycle driver’s education classes offered or some type of training to ensure a person is ready to drive a motorcycle. Enroll them in a class and expect them to do well.

Consider why your teen wants to have a motorcycle. Do they want it because it’s less expensive on gasoline or because their friend has one? Are they concerned about the impact of vehicles on the environment or do they merely want to look ‘cool’ to people around them? Ask them why they want one and then use that information to help you decide whether or not to allow them to have one.

When your teenager asks if they can have a motorcycle, your first thought is probably motorcycle safety. If you and your teen discuss the possibilities of purchasing a motorcycle, use the ideas above to get the conversation started. Then together you can make an informed and decision that is right for your family.

Original post can be found here: Motorcycle Safety – What to Consider If Your Teen Wants a Motorcycle

With the increasing popularity of social networking sites and online chat rooms, cyberbullying has also spiked. Cyberbullying is not to be taken lightly, especially in the wake of recent deaths tied to the issue. It is important to discuss the issue with your teen to increase awareness of the issue. If your teen is a victim of cyberbullying, there are steps that can be taken to resolve the issue before any drastic effects take place.

Cyberbullying occurs when a child bullies another child in an online venue. While the bullying is not taking place in person, it is still a very serious issue. Teens that use the internet to cyberbully traditionally target their peers and smear their names or issue threats. Cyberbullying is not typically a one time occurrence; it is an ongoing issue that will continue until the matter is addressed, either by authority figures or by the teenager themselves.

Teens can handle cyberbullying in different ways. While parents may not recognize the signs of teen cyberbullying, teens often take the cyberbullying to heart. Such instances are shown when children commit suicide for no apparent reason, only for parents to discover after the death that the teen was a target of cyberbullying. Suicide or murders are the extreme extent of the issue.

Victims of cyberbullying usually become self-conscious or withdraw into themselves. Acceptance is what every teenager wants, especially from their peers. When a teenager is bullied instead, whether online or off, they can become very depressed and even express signs of self-hatred.

It is important, as a parent, to be aware of any changes in your teenager’s attitude or behavior as these can be early warning signs that something is not quite right. Addressing the issue head-on can be beneficial for both your teenager and you. Your teen will be happy to have a parent who cares and will stand behind them. Lack of parental support can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, along with depression and thoughts of harming themselves.

While murder and suicide are the extreme consequences of cyberbullying, most events are not usually pursuable in a criminal manner. While it is only normal to want the offender to pay for deliberately setting out to hurt your teen, it is important not to stoop to the teen’s level as it then becomes a more serious nature for which you, as a responsible adult, will be in trouble. It is more advisable to document all of the cyberbullying events and use them as evidence if presented to the authorities.

Cyberbullying can affect your teen in various ways. Some teenagers shrug off the offending comments while others take the comments personally and withdraw into themselves. Very rarely, murder or suicide may be a result of a cyberbullying event taken too far.

Be aware of any serious changes in your teenager’s attitude or behavior as the changes may be an indication of something wrong in your teenager’s life. Open communication is important as well as letting your teenager know that you are there for support. Never take matters into your own hands by stooping to the level of cyberbullying – it could lead to criminal charges against yourself. Rather, document all of the comments and attempts of cyberbullying directed at your teen and present the evidence to authorities and let them handle the matter.

Original post can be found here: How Cyberbullying Can Affect Your Teen

Long before a teenager reaches legal driving age they’re dreaming of being behind the wheel. Depending upon your child, you may be dreading the prospects of having a driving teenager. Here are the top tips to get your teenager ready to drive and not lose your mind in the process.

If you’re considering teaching your teen to drive, it’s important that you try to remember learning how to drive and how excited you were. By putting yourself back in their “seat,” so to speak, you may have more patience and empathy. These are both needed, as well as a desire to see your teen become a skilled, responsible driver.

Your teen may have driver’s education classes available to them at school. This is a great opportunity to allow your teen to become comfortable behind the wheel without having to be the one who is initially in the car with them. No matter how good the driver’s education class is, you’ll also be responsible for taking your teen out to practice driving.

It’s possible, however, that the best way for your teen to learn how to be a responsible driver is what they learn from watching you. Pay attention to the traffic around you, know and follow the rules of the road, and use proper judgment while driving. If you do these things, your teen may emulate those skills rather than those of their peers.

Talk to your teenager about the responsibilities and dangers associated with driving. You may even want to go as far as to tell them the statistics for teenagers killed in motor vehicle accidents. This will get their attention and hopefully encourage them to be better drivers.

Take the time to provide ample opportunities for your teen to practice driving. Take them driving when it’s raining, when there’s rush hour traffic, and at night. In fact, find as many different conditions they may face when driving as possible. The more experience they have behind the wheel, the better their driving will be.

Establish clear rules regarding driving and be sure to enforce them. One idea you may want to consider is to restrict your teen from having other teenagers with them while driving. Teenagers don’t always use their best judgment and this can often be the case when they’re behind the wheel trying to impress their friends. And of course you’ll want to stress the importance of not drinking and driving.

Let your teen be aware of what you’re doing and where you’re going if you’re teaching them to drive. They’ll be better prepared to handle what comes at them if they know in advance that they’re going to be driving in rush hour traffic, for example.

Consider how mature your teenager is. Do they have to be reminded to put on their seatbelt? Do they react calmly when something bothers them or do they fly off the handle? Do they think they’re invincible? If you don’t think they’re mature enough or are concerned about their reactions when you’re in the car with them, you may have enough reason to ask them to wait to learn to drive.

Consider using these top tips to get your teenager ready to drive. You can also get advice from other parents who have taught their teens to drive, or check with the school’s driver’s education teacher. Between the help you get from others and your own experiences learning to drive, your teen should soon be ready to get behind the wheel.

Original post can be found here: Top Tips to Get Your Teenager Ready to Drive

Cyberbullying has increased along with the popularity of the internet. To effectively qualm cyber bullying, it is important not only to know the meaning of cyberbullying, but also how it presents itself and the possible effects. Awareness is the key to preventing any occurrences and to ensure that your children do not become victims.

What one may consider cyberbullying can vary. Essentially, cyberbullying occurs when one teenager singles out another teenager or group of teenagers in a negative way online. This can include harassment, threats and even smearing someone’s name by spreading lies. With the usage of social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook, it is very easy for teenagers to bully each other in an online environment.

Cyberbullying is not usually a one-time deal. Most often, it is several messages being exchanged by the parties involved. These messages can take place using an instant messenger such as AIM or Yahoo! Negative blogs can be written about teens that are unaware of such slanderous activities. In some extreme cases, teenagers will hack another teen’s account and post degrading comments or send messages to others posing as that person.

Many teens do not give the forethought to the issue and do not realize that they are setting themselves up for a possible criminal charge. Others are simply not aware or do not care that they are damaging reputations and causing depression which may even lead to suicide or murder.

As a parent, it is important to spread awareness to your children about cyberbullying and its effects. What may seem like innocent fun to one teen is embarrassing to another and may lead to social problems. Stories are always in the news about teenagers who have committed suicide because of comments posted online. Teenagers have killed another in similar situations.

Issuing threats is a criminal matter. However, it is very difficult to sue an offender of cyberbullying as the burden of proof may not exist. Teenagers may claim that the comments were posted by someone who hacked into their account or simply that they were just joking around.

Many offenders get off with a slap on the wrist as opposed to any criminal charges. When a teenager commits murder or suicide, it can be very hard to prove that the events surrounding the death were caused by cyberbullying. One can argue that the child was depressed before any instances of cyberbullying took place.

Cyberbullying can take many forms. Teenagers can smear another’s name on a social networking site such as MySpace and Facebook, or create a damaging blog or website devoted to degrading another teen. Cyberbullying only pertains to teenagers and children; when an adult gets involved it becomes cyberstalking and cyberharrassment.

Knowing the forms of cyberbullying and what to be aware of will help to stop another child from cyberbullying yours. Be sure to discuss cyberbullying and its consequences with your children as well so that they do not become cyberbullies themselves.

Original post can be found here: Cyberbullying – An Explanation

As a teen, are you a veteran of several years of attending summer camp? You thoroughly enjoyed the experience while you were there and would like to help younger children have the same experience. You may be wondering how to become a camp counselor.

Begin your search for a job as a camp counselor at the camp you most recently attended. Since you are already familiar with the camp, how it’s run, and the permanent staff, this would be the best place to start. Call the camp director and ask if there are any positions available or send a letter with a resume.

Other local places to check include the local parks and recreation department, high school guidance counselor, or ask neighbors and friends at church if you attend. You can also check the telephone book to get information about other camps in the area as well as numbers for churches which may offer church camps. The local employment office job lists is another option to consider.

After you’ve exhausted local opportunities, search the internet. There are job boards which list camp counselor positions around the country. You can find out what’s available, the process for applying, and any other qualifications necessary to become a camp counselor.

Do you have the necessary skills or meet the qualifications necessary? If you are already certified as a lifeguard, CPR or first aid it will be a boon for any camp. Determine if you have any other skills which would be beneficial as a camp counselor. Perhaps you play an instrument, have been in scouting, are a skilled horseback rider, or are knowledgeable about the flora and fauna or your area. Highlight these skills on your resume as they are often in demand.

Are you athletic? You may want to check into a specific camp for that sport. It’s not unusual for there to be soccer camps, gymnastic camps, archery camps, music camps, art camps or cheerleader camps. Already having this interest and experience will help move your resume to the top of the pile.

Prepare a resume with any job experience, specific interests and skills which a camp counselor needs, and information about your own time as camper, including dates and which camps you attended. Pull together your school transcript thus far and get letters of recommendation from high school teachers, people you’ve babysat for, youth pastor if you attend church, or past employers.

Be prepared to meet the camp director for an interview. It is important to be knowledgeable about the particular camp you’re applying to, so internet research is advised. Be on time and act enthusiastic without being too forward. Try to relax and enjoy the process. If you can do those things, as well as having the skills and experience as a camper going for you, you could be well on your way to becoming a camp counselor. Good luck!

Original post can be found here: Teens: How to Become a Camp Counselor