Marriage is not always a guarantee that a family will stay together for a long time. This is because there are those who try their best to work it out but sometimes, no matter how hard they try, things won’t work out anymore. In separation, two things are always considered an end result: a broken family and single parenting.

Many people opt to stay in a hurtful relationship for their kids. They feel that they need to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of keeping the family together. What they don’t realize is that the more they stay in an unhappy relationship; they are just bringing more damage to their kids.

Contrary to common perception that separation is always bad to kids, experts say that it is not always the case because it depends on the gravity of the situation at home. For many kids, being raised by a single parent is more advisable because they don’t have to witness arguments between their parents everyday. It is also good for them because it lessens their fear about being hurt by one of their parents when fights occur.

If you are one of those who would want to get out of an abusive relationship but the thought of single parenting scares you, now is the best time to assess the advantages and disadvantages of being in the relationship. You should weigh carefully what is the impact of being in that relationship for yourself and your child. Once you have assessed that being in a relationship brings more damage than good to you and to your child, and then now is the best time to consider your options well.

Determining the red flags

The best time to opt for single parenting is when you have finally weighed all the good and bad things in staying in that relationship. To know this, it would be best to watch out for the signs that you are being unhappy and of course, how your child acts and feels towards the family. Experts say that you should opt for single parenting when you:

- are generally tired of all the things that have been happening inside the house. You will feel that you are not happy when you are with your husband or wife and there’s always tension when you are together.

- don’t look forward to coming home and would prefer staying outside the house. This is common to those who cannot handle the things that going on inside the house and would prefer to be somewhere else.

- lose interest in your spouse. This is not because you are irresponsible but because you no longer see positive things in the family. Many don’t realize that when they lose interest in their families, it’s a sign that there is wrong in the relationship and it something needs to be done about it.

- feel the need that it is better to raise your child alone. This feeling stems from the fact that your care for your child and he or she doesn’t deserve to be in a situation where there’s always tension. If you feel that you can handle this responsibility alone, it’s a positive indication that you are ready for single parenting.

Original post can be found here: When To Opt For Single Parenting

As years went by, there are a growing number of kids that are products of single parenting. This is result of the increasing number of marriages that have failed and of course, of all the relationships that didn’t work out.

Many people—whose relationships are on the rocks—don’t realize it yet that single parenting would be the best option for their child rather than placing them in an environment where there is tension everyday. Aside from their personal growth, experts say that one of the areas where the child is greatly affected by constant fighting inside the house is his or her schooling.

If you are one of those parents who would not want their kid’s schooling to be affected so much by being in an unhappy relationship then now is the best time to opt for single parenting. Not many parents know that schooling has become less and less friendlier for kids. And though there are better classrooms and teachers, this doesn’t change the fact that there is more pressure that is placed on the kid’s shoulder. Given this set up, it would not help if the child lives in an environment where there is animosity.

Seeing the signs

If you are centered on the welfare of the child, it would be best to make his or her as the top priority of your life. If you feel that being in a relationship no longer helps your child to be better, then you might want to raise the child on your own. Experts say that single parenting would be best for the child if he or she shows:

- persistent frustration. This is the major sign of kids who are losing interest in school due to pressure brought by the people around him or her. At first, this may be vague and can be mistaken as tantrums but eventually, this behavior will become more and more noticeable because it will manifest in other things as well as places not only at school but outside the home as well.

- failed grades and repeated failure in completing school works. This is a very alarming symptom of the child who is greatly affected by constant fighting of his or her parents. Experts say because this shows that the problem at home affects his or her everyday function in school. If nothing is done this early, it may manifest to other destructive behaviors of the child.

- extreme struggle in staying in one task. This is one of the worst effects of having parents that argue everyday because this leads to decrease on confidence of the child. If the child loses his or her confidence, he or she would not be able to complete anything thinking that nobody will be there to guide him or her.

- tends to ignore people and the things that they say. Experts say single parenting is the best option for kids if you and your partner are on the verge of separation. When the child no longer pay attention to what others say and generally lose interest in school and in other aspects of his or her life, then now is the best time for you to extend help.

Original post can be found here: When Single Parenting Is Best For Your Child

A family is consists of father, mother, and child or children. The father plays the provider while the mother plays the nurturer of a family. But there are situations when one parent plays both the nurturer and the provider alone. It is a tough role but nowadays, single parenting is common and already acceptable in our society.

Single parenting defined

Single parenting is the practice of nurturing and raising your children without another adult equally involved in the process. In the United States alone, there are about 15 million single parents. Large percentage of these is composed of divorced or unmarried women, widows/widowers, surrogate mothers, or adopters. Women single parents are common than men. Throughout the world, single parenthood is more prevalent in the Western than Asian countries.

The difference between single-parent “family” and single-parent “household”

The practice of single parenting can be a single-parent “family” or single-parent “household.” A single parent family is when there is only one parent and the other parent is completely out of the child’s life. It can be through death, sperm donation, complete abandonment of one parent, or no contact is ever made with the other parent. On the other hand, a single-parent household is when one parent has primary custody of the child or children but the other parent not living in the house is still part of the child’s family. A divorce case where the mother has the primary physical custody of the child is one example of a single-parent household.

According to a study by Rodgers in 1996, prevalence of single-parent “family” cases in the United States are caused by the changing social and cultural trends, presence of welfare benefits that allows women to set up their own households, higher rates of divorce and non marital childbearing, higher employment opportunities for women, and, lower employment opportunities for men.

Single mother by choice is a case of single-parent “family”

Single mother by choice is an option for women who want to practice single parenting. A popular example of a woman who choose single mother by choice is Academy Award-winning actress Jodi Foster. She is a proud parent of two children and without a husband. She believes that women like her have the viable option of single-parent “family.” Single mother by choice is an option to women who are dedicated to motherhood, politically aware of their choice, financially responsible and mature. An organization for women who want to raise children of their own and who may want to marry and not to marry is Single Mothers by Choice. They can be reached through the website: singlemothersbychoice.com.

Single Parenting (Mother-only and Father-only cases)

According to figures, vast majority of single parenting cases are female-headed. Male-headed single parenting cases are commonly as a result of widowhood or mother refusing custody. In case of divorce, a father increases their chances of winning custody when they pay child support or when the children are older and chooses the father. However, both male and female agree that regardless of sex single parenting is a challenging family option.

Original post can be found here: What is single parenting?

Single parenting is the practice of raising children and building a family without a spouse or partner. As a choice of building a family, single parenting is now acceptable in our society. Some sociologist perceive the prevalence of single parenting as an alternative family form rather than a problem in society formation. Regardless of how it is perceived, the increase of families raised by one parent influences the social, economical, and political context of family life. The following are the common causes of single parenting:

1. Divorce – Single parenting due to divorce means that the divorced single parent will have the primary custody of the child or children. The single parent will do the major obligation of raising the child or children but the other parent can still be involved in the family.

The usual pattern after divorce is that the mother becomes the single parent (taking the major obligation of raising the children) while the father becomes the supporting parent. In the United States, five of every six single-parent households are headed by a mother. Fathers, are only given the custody and allowed to play the role of single parent if the parent is widowed, the mother deserted her child or children, or the mother refuses custody of her child. A mother may give up custody and award parenting to the father of child or children due to lack of financial resources, child’s preference living with the father, inability to control or discipline children, threats of legal custody battles, and physical or emotional problems suffered by her.

2. Death – Single parenting due to widowhood may give a parent an unforeseen parenting obligation that will cause her to underwent difficult time of adjustment. Emotions like anger, denial, depression, bargaining, and later acceptance are common to widowed single parents. These negative emotions will largely affect parenting. Support of family and friends are important for the single parent to cope up with the changes in his or her family.

3. Early pregnancy – Raising a child alone during teenage period is tough. Teen single parents underwent stresses because of young age and inability to prepare for the future. Single parenting during teenage years usually happen to kids who are rebellious from their parents.

4. Adoption – Single parenting due to adoption is a viable option for single people who feel incomplete in life. However, loneliness should not be your sole motivation to choose single parenting. It could be a part of it but the desire to nurture and share life as a family should come first. In the United States, single parent adoptions is the fastest growing trend in the adoption field. Single parents due to adoption are usually single parents who work full-time, financially responsible and emotionally mature.

5. Donor insemination – Single parenting due to donor insemination is the most controversial option for building a family today. Donor insemination is the process of achieving pregnancy through injection of semen into the reproductive tract of a female. Single mothers who choose to conceive children in this option include lesbians who wish to bear children. They may choose sperm donor from friends, relatives, acquaintances, or an unknown donor. If the sperm donor is known to the parent or child-bearer, a parent may take parental or avuncular roles relative to children conceived via DI, or may not.

Original post can be found here: What Are The Common Causes of Single Parenting?

Perhaps one of the hardest things to deal with when you’ve found yourself pregnant and alone is what comes after. Taking care of a child can be pretty overwhelming especially when you are young and not really ready for such a big responsibility. It will be a complete lifestyle change. In an instant, you will need to really grow up and become more mature. You will need to forget about partying and having a good time and instead focus on getting a job and ensuring that your child will be well-taken care of.

Your life as you know it as a young single individual will need to take a backseat to your child’s future.

But though single parenting can seem pretty gloomy, it does not have to be so depressing. With the right attitude, you can make this experience a positive one, something that you can learn a lot from. Here are some ways that will help you make the journey of a young single mom much easier.

1. Get on with your life

There is no use getting mad at the cards fate had dealt you with. There is also no use trying to force somebody (aka your partner) to take responsibility when he clearly does not want to have anything to do with raising the child. The best way to start your life is to accept your fate and move on. You owe it to your child to be at peace with what happened and just make the best out of it. There is life after getting pregnant. You’ll never have when you continue to cling to the past.

2. Join a support group

There is nothing more comforting than to know that you are not alone in this situation and that there are others who are also going through the same things that you are going through. When you think about it, it is pretty bad of people to feel happy when others are suffering too but it is a fact of life. We want to know that there are people who are also in the same boat.

A support group is also a wonderful way to meet people who can help you and give you advice. Remember that some of these people have already gone through what you are just starting to go through. They can give you great insights and refer you things that will make the experience easier.

3. Know your priorities

It is not impossible to get sidetracked for a while from your duties. You are young and because you have not really been able to enjoy life, you will probably miss singlehood. If you find yourself at this crossroad, just think about your baby and how his or her future depends on you. Mothers have instincts and as idealistic as it sounds, most will do the right thing and prioritize their children.

Just be clear about your priorities from the get go. That way, it will be a constant reminder for you during times when you get tempted to go back to your old ways.

Original post can be found here: Ways To Make Single Parenting More Manageable

No doubt about it. Single parenting is hard. Even with a partner, raising a child is tough, what more when you have to do it alone?

But this is a situation that single parents have to face whether they like it or not. They are responsible for a child and even though this is a situation that they do not really want or have expected, they have no choice but to face it.

Early Responsibility

One of the hardest parts perhaps in being a single parent is to make sure that your child is well provided for. If you do not have the support of your parents, this can be hard, even impossible. You need to rent a house and pay for food, milk and diapers. Some, especially those who have to work, also need to pay for babysitting services. There are also the child equipment like a crib, a play mat and a stroller, not to mention the toys and books that they need to enrich their brain and enhance their learning.

And when the child grows up, you will also need to pay for their education from preschool to college. That is of course still decades from now but it is also something that you have to consider and plan for. Remember also that kids do not have medical insurance. You need to pay for their medical bills should they get sick. Being the single breadwinner in the family, some single parents take on two to three sometimes even four jobs just to be able to make both ends meet and have some savings for the future.

Others however are still in denial. They still cannot accept that they already have responsibilities. These are the ones who lead single lives despite having a kid. They still go to parties and have a good time even when they have a kid to take care of.

Loneliness

Another trial of being a single parent is the loneliness. This is especially true for those who have not received any support from their parents or from any relatives. Basically, single parents in this kind of situation only have their children as partner and this can be an awfully sad and lonely existence for anyone. Some single parents, who cannot take the loneliness, cope with it by establishing a super close relationship with their child, which can be too constricting for the growing child. These are the parents who are too strict and are overprotective. Others seek for comfort outside the home by going out on dates and searching for a partner. This however can also backfire because the relationship with the child can suffer.

Stigma

Although it is already something that we see every day, there are still communities that frown upon early pregnancy before marriage. Single parents often have to deal with the social stigma. This can be a problem because it is another stressor that you do not really need to have. Some young single parents move to cities or leave their towns to start a new life.

Original post can be found here: Trials Of Single Parenting And How People Deal With It

Single parenting is tough. It’s like you are having two full-time jobs at once. Family and friends will probably come to you to offer advice, tips, and suggestions. Yet there will still be times when you’ll doubt yourself if you can do parenting alone. The following self-help books might help you bring in the confidence you need to raise your child and build a family in a single parent family/household setting:

1. The Complete Single Mother: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Concerns by Andrea Engber and Leah Klungness, Ph.D. – Authored by two single mothers, this guidebook offers comprehensive and practical information that for single mothers to help them overcome daily challenges with courage and dignity. The book includes useful tips on how to manage finances, handle legal matters, plan career, enhance social life, reach out to support groups, and deal with family members.

2. Positive Discipline for Single Parents by Jane Nelsen – A positive, a classic and commonsense approach to instilling discipline in a single parent family, Positive Discipline for Single Parents is aimed at guiding parents in raising a responsible, respectful, and resourceful child. This book is co-authored by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D, a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist.

3. Head of Household: Money Management for Single Parents by Kara Stefan – Covering eleven primary concerns of single parent today, Head of Households is a definitive book on financial management in a single parent home. The book is written by a veteran financial writer who is as a single parent knows the financial pitfalls of raising a child and building a family alone. Combining her experiences as financial writer and single mother, the author created a resourceful, level-headed and hilarious guide a single parent will need in daily life.

4. Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman’s Guide by Mikki Morrisette – Whether you are still thinking about being a single mother by choice or you are in the middle of a pregnancy/adoption, there will be moments where you will have doubts, worries, and fears of the life you are about to embrace. Choosing Single motherhood is the first comprehensive book especially made for single mothers by choice. The book features essential tools needed by moms in taking the big leap. The book is written by Mikki Morrissette, a longtime journalist and single mother by choice.

5. The Complete Single Father: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Situations – Whether you are a widower or divorced dad, single parenting will require you a fast learning curve. Written by a newly divorced dad and by the grandmother of his children, this book is a realistic, yet positive guide that offers information on how a single dad maintain a stable family with less stress involved. The Complete Single Father book contains specific research material from family lawyers, marriage counselors, psychologists, social workers, teachers, and members of the clergy.

Another special feature of this book is the Tips from the Trenches section where divorced or widowed dads share their messes and successes in being single parents.

Original post can be found here: Top Ten Books on Single Parenting

No one wishes to be a single parent but circumstances sometimes dictate that you take on responsibilities that you have not expected. For single parents who have chosen to raise their children alone, the burden is not as hard as with the burden of a single parent whose partner left them with the responsibility. It is also much easier to handle if the single parent have the support of their parents, their relatives, their friends and the whole community as opposed to those who have to move to another place to start anew because of social stigma. It is also easier to handle if you have the support of the partner as with those who get alimony from a divorce or those being supported by a partner that is assigned in another country to work.

But whatever the situation is that led you to this kind of responsibility, the same thing is true: you are in charge of a child and you must do everything that you can to ensure that he will have a good future and that he will grow up with values. This is a hard task, a pretty daunting task, whether you are just a high school graduate or newly widowed. It requires strength of will, patience and real ‘want’ to make things work out. If you are ready for the responsibility and you are willing to do anything in your power to take care of the child, no task is hard. Below are some tips on how to make single parenting more manageable.

1. You should know your priorities. If you are focused on one goal, it will be easier for you to plan your actions and avoid temptations.

2. Accept your fate and just make the best out of it. There is really no use complaining about how hard it is or even thinking on how hard it is going to be in the future. You just have to focus on the now and make sure that your child is well provided for.

3. Never be afraid to ask for help. You cannot take on the responsibility on your own. Ask for help whether from your parents or from organizations that help single parents like you. Check your community or your state for listings of organizations for single parents.
4. Don’t think that you cannot do it. Believe in yourself and in what you can do. When you let fear get the best of you, you will not be able to survive this challenge.

5. Join a support group. Having people who have gone through the same things on your side is one secret to surviving single parenting alive. These people can give you advice on all kinds of stuff. You can even help each other out when it comes to taking care of the children.

6. Have faith. Having God on your side will help you go through every trial. It is comforting to know that you have somebody by your side and that you are not really all alone.

Original post can be found here: Tips On How To Survive Single Parenting

…Three Things That You Should Do

If you think that Cupid has given up on you just because you have a kid that you have to take care of, think again. Dating when you are a single parent is possible. In fact, there are a lot of single parents out there who have managed to find second chances with great guys and gals. Besides, single parenting now is accepted by society and it is no longer an issue if you already have a kid. If it becomes a problem, then the person doesn’t really deserve your attention, much more your devotion.

Don’t get me wrong. It will have its tough moments. You will probably have problems with your schedules and yes, you will probably need to learn how to juggle your time and keep your priorities straight but you can make it work. All it takes is a clear mind and a ready heart. Here are some tips on how to make dating a success.

1. Make sure that you are ready

You have gotten burned and the person who you thought loved you before have turned their back on their responsibility and left you to deal with it. Single parents can have scars too and that means a lot of baggage to deal with. Remember that you already have one baggage—your child—that a potential partner has to deal with. Don’t add another one by springing in some commitment and love issues. If you are not yet ready, do not force it. Love will come naturally when the world feels that you are ready to be in a relationship again.

2. Be serious

When you are a single parent, you just do not have the time to play games anymore. So when you go out on a date, it should be the real thing or don’t do it at all. Take the dating scene very seriously in the sense that you will only go out with people that you feel you can have lasting relationships with. In short, you are dating for keeps and not just coasting along. Most single parents who date actively seek out for potential mates and it is there that they get into trouble. Although it is good to find someone who you can depend on, going out on dates with random people that you’ve met in bars are just not going to cut it. If you just want to have a great time and are just using the excuse of “finding a mother or father figure” for your kid, give yourself the reality check. Your kid needs you more than they need a mother or a father figure.

3. Be honest

One of the mistakes that some single parents do when they date is they don’t tell right off that they have a child to take care of. They wait until the dating has become serious before revealing that little tidbit. Remember that not everybody will be open to the idea and you will save yourself a lot of heartache if you reveal it at the start.

Original post can be found here: If You Want To Date When You’re A Single Parent

Raising children is hard. Not only do you need to teach them the right set of values and help them grow to be good responsible adults, you also need to provide for their every needs and even pay for their education. For a couple, this is already difficult. How many times have we heard of stories of couples not sleeping at night because they need to take care of their baby? How many times have we heard stories of parents complaining about their financial situation? Between having to pay for the house rent and paying for medical check-ups and milk, taking care of a kid can be very expensive. But what more if you are the only one bearing the responsibility? How hard can it be?

Single parenting is a reality in the United States and even all over the world. More and more people are taking care of their babies on their own. People now no longer see marriage as a requirement and a necessity when there’s a baby. Now, they can choose to raise their babies together or alone. For some, raising them alone is a better choice. Although it is hard, there is little heartbreak involved here because it is their choice to raise their babies alone.

This is especially true for those who have gotten pregnant by accident. Often, these single parents are young mothers who are either in high school or in college. Some are also already working. For young single parents like these, the support of their parents are crucial as well as the community in general. Although it is a reality that we see everywhere, some communities especially in small towns still look down on young mothers or fathers.

More and more couples are also deciding to separate for various reasons and often, the task of raising the child falls on either of the partner. This is not only because they want to but because it is also not good for the child to be constantly uprooted. Children, while they are growing up, need a stable home environment. For these people, single parenting is a lot easier because the responsibility is shared by both partners even if the child lives with only one.

Some are not so fortunate though. For some, it is not even a choice but a fact of life because the other partner does not take responsibility anymore. These are the partners who have decided to turn their backs on their parental duties and have lived single lives. For their partners, the task of taking care of the child is even harder because there is no support from the other partner and because it is also not their choice to assume the responsibility alone, this can be a pretty hard situation to be in.

This can happen to those who have gotten pregnant before marriage or those who have gotten married and then got divorced. Again, for these people, the support of their parents, their friends and the community in general is very important.

Original post can be found here: The Different Faces Of Single Parenting